So just let me try,
And I will be good to you.
Just let me try,
And I will be there for you.
I’ll show you why,
You’re so much more than good enough...

always and forever. ♥

Hey your glass is empty
It’s a hell of a long way home
Why don’t you let me take you
It’s no good to go alone
I never would have opened up
But you seemed so real to me
After all the bullshit I’ve heard
It’s refreshing not to see
I don’t have to pretend
She doesn’t expect it from me

Don’t tell me I haven’t been good to you
Don’t tell me I have never been there for you
Don’t tell me why
Nothing is good enough

Hey little girl would you like some candy
Your momma said that it’s ok
The door is open come on outside
No I can’t come out today
It’s not the wind that cracked your shoulder
And threw you to the ground
Who’s there that makes you so afraid
You’re shaken to the bone
And I don’t understand
You deserve so much more than this

So don’t tell me why
He’s never been good to you
Don’t tell me why
He’s never been there for you
Don’t you know that why
Is simply not good enough
So just let me try
And I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I’ll show you why
You’re so much more than good enough...

"..... Diggin' a hole and the walls are caving in, behind me..... Airs gettin' thin, but I'm trying..... I'm breathing in..... Come find me....."

and i thought that this time would be different. different from all the other times. i know i've said it before, and i'll probably say it again. it's one of those cycles i can't seem to get away from. but i honestly thought that maybe this time things would actually work out for the better. and things might go the way i thought they should. i thought that i was actually able of having a meaningful conversation with someone, someone that i enjoy being around. i thought i was beginning to let someone in. let someone see that other part of me. the one i don't share with anyone very often. i thought they were going to let me into their life. even if it took some effort. even if i had to "use the back door". their friendship isn't the kind that you run across everyday. it's one of those friendships, that even when things are at their worst, you hold on. because this person means so much to you, and has impacted your life in so many different ways. and it sucks when you have to wonder if they are turning into everything they promised you they weren't. everything they promised not to be. and it hurts when you begin to realize that things might not be as they seem anymore.
 
"..... It hasn't felt like this before..... It hasn't felt like home, before you....."

and it seems so contradictory when i say that i don't attach to someone for too long. because i'm not one to be known for relationships that last a great deal of time. but when i think about it, i probably trust people too much for my own good. maybe i'm just choosing the wrong people. maybe i'm too involved. too demanding. too opinionated. maybe it's more than they want/can handle. maybe i'm the one pushing them away. maybe it isn't about anyone else at all. maybe it's the fact that i find it so hard to attach to someone, yet i feel the need to share everything with them. just so i have a way to hold on.

"..... And I know its easy to say..... But it's harder to feel, this way..... And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could..... I can't get my mind off of you....."

and it sucks. to like someone more than they like you back. i sometimes wonder if its even worth it anymore. if all the heartache, all the mixed feelings and emotions, all the confusion, is really worth my time. to spend so much time thinking about someone, someone who probably isn't doing the same, probably isn't the best option. but when i get so many mixed signals, it's hard to know if i should move on. or if i should wait it out. and hold on. just a bit longer. because maybe, maybe things will eventually work out.
 
"..... I know your scared that I'll soon be over it..... That's part of it all..... Part of the beauty of falling in love with you..... Is the fear you won't fall....."

and that sentence pretty much means exactly what it says. part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall. the fear that you might not actually feel the same about me. that i'm willing to take a risk of feeling this way, with the possibility of you feeling differently. i'm facing the risk of rejection. one of my biggest fears in the entire world. yet i'm still holding on. just in case you decide to come back to me. because maybe, just maybe, you will...

"..... And I hate the phone..... But I wish you'd call..... Thought being alone, was better than, was better than....."

and i didn't think it meant as much to me then, as it does to me now. but it had to. otherwise i wouldn't remember so much. i remember what i wore. i remember the random text messages. the late night conversations. i remember a bunch of things that i didn't even know i knew. if only it hadn't taken me so long to stop being so naive. so innocent. so stubborn. if only i could go back, and know what i know now. things would be a lot different. they could've been better. they could've been worse. i'll never know. but what i do know is that now i'm willing to give it a chance. if only you'd let me.

i miss talking to you. our late night, deep conversations. whether they be about something important. or about something completely random and irrelevant. i miss it. a lot. and one of my biggest regrets in the entire world is taking our friendship forgranted. oh, what i would do to get it back... 

if only it meant as much to you, as it means to me...

"..... And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could..... I can't get my mind off of you....."

i'll be here when you come back. forever and always. x0x0 <3